You see,I am not a therapist don’t even know anything about these.
I will just say: Go to bed at night, Take a long sleep, then start the next day soo fresh that you are a new person in the world. Life is small, you shouldn’t really care about anything. There was I believe at least 150+ Billion people who lived on the world. That’s a lot! The world is big!
Be a chiil guy/gal
I thought I should care about stuff exactly because life is short? Otherwise what is even the point?
LOL,as I said I’m not a therapist.
I was trying to say: Let the past,be the past if it’s your problem
It’s just my 2 cents
Funny dark humor ways of getting money are inheriting your parents house and selling it once they die or finding a rich wife or husband and inheriting their money once they die.
Joking aside, if u need money then you need to work. I will be doing that once my safety net runs out too.
With regards to ChatGPT, you should keep using it. I see u probably need affirmation from being discriminated as a Trans, so in your case, it might be just what the doctor ordered.
Your therapist is probably crap, most of them are, being privileged normal people from rich backgrounds.
I know I need to work, my entire problem is that I can’t force myself to even knowing my safety net is running out, I’m like “isn’t it easier to just die” which is like, not a healthy way of thinking at all
About ChatGPT, affirmation is the last thing I’m using it for. That’s exactly the problem @dragonforge-dev mentioned, that it affirms just about anything whereas I need actual solutions to my problems instead of just “blah blah blah you’re valid”. Being “valid” to a bot whose sole purpose is to tell you you’re valid even if you’re a literal monster does nothing to help me figure out who I am and what kind of body I will be satisfied with.
About therapists: I used to have a good therapist but he turned out to be kind of an asshole (and that’s putting it mildly) so I had to drop him. Just my fucking luck.
As someone who has struggled with depression, and who has attempted suicide in the past, let me tell you, this is not the way. It’s a permanent solution to a problem that, as much as you may not believe at the moment, I promise you is very much temporary. What you should do when you have these sort of thoughts is to find someone to talk to. That can be a friend, a family member or even a random person on the internet. Sometimes it can actually be easier to talk to someone you don’t know because we often don’t want to be vulnerable around those closest to us. You could also try to find a support group on Reddit or Discord. There are many people out there that can relate to exactly what you’re going through.
And above all else, just know that there are people out there that care about your well being. I do. Everyone that took the time to post in here does. I don’t have all the answers for you, as this is a journey you have to take, but it’s not one that you have to take alone. I hope that you find your peace.
You don’t need to do all of game development to start your journey. I cannot help with the mental health issues. But I do have a suggestion. You can try spending a few minutes a day documenting your game design. Some people find this process innately satisfying as code is not the only way you make your game ideas closer to reality.
In fact, the process of making a game design document will often help you clarify your ideas. A good number of game devs from beginners to small studios believe that they know exactly what their game is about and skip the design document. Then during coding, they realize that a lot of their ideas are not as fleshed out as they thought.
This gives you the additional advantage of exploring organization tools (there are many quality free ones) beyond using microsoft office. You can just use just ms office too, that’s fine or Libre Office which is free. These tools along with the process of documenting your ideas are useful regardless of whether you continue game making or not. Making tables of your real time strategy game units, flow charts of general story events in your visual novel or the general level design ideas of your platformer is not just good for game development, but as you keep doing it, your organizational skills will improve.
You can even use ai for this if you want partially to brainstorm and do some formatting. Though only if you are comfortable using it. Otherwise not using ai will make you be even more familiar with the manual process.
This requires no money, only a few minutes a day, move you closer to your goals in a concrete way of game making, improves the real life skill of documenting your ideas and isn’t too taxing on the mind.
If you do decide to adopt this, just ease into the process and don’t worry too much if your design document is formal enough. What’s important is that it’s clear to you, the aspiring game developer. Eventually when you do start learning to code more, you can focus more on just the code instead of struggling with both code and design at the same time. And documenting your ideas not just for your game, but just generally just game ideas will let you have your own personal library of ideas you can swap in and out of any game you make in the future. Just avoid using those paid organization apps. They’re good, but the free ones are already at a high quality.